Read on to see how much of a bitter piece of shit I really am.
Jets/Bills - Wow.. shocker. Jets ran train on that ass. Buffalo is such a sad, pathetic excuse for a football team. One of the very few things they had going for them was Marshawn Lynch. Guess what, he just got traded to the emerging Seahawks. Buffalo as a whole sucks. I don't feel bad for them whatsoever. In fact, I hate them even more because they made the Jets looks better and they piss me the hell off too. I won't front though, Sanchez finally looks like he knows how to play football and Tomlinson is comfortably telling the Chargers to go fuck themselves.
Bengals/Browns - I wont waste my time being witty about this game. Although it was a decent game, the winner was as good as the skinniest piece of shit at fat camp. Only thing worth noting is that T.O. had 222 receiving yards. While every asshole in America went and picked him up on their fantasy team, I'm laughing because he'll never do that well again. Sorry, Terrell, your career is just about over. Stick to VH1.
Ravens/Steelers - Flacco to Houshmandzadeh for the win. Boo hoo.. the Steelers didn't go 4-0... BLOW ME. They were pretty much expected to go 0-4 until the rapist came back and saved the season, but then somehow, they won 3 games. Guess what, IT WAS A FLUKE. Charlie Batch isn't that good! Anyways, the Ravens rushing attack is embarrassing. Ray Rice might as well kneel the ball every time he gets it.
Broncos/Titans - Yuck. Rather glue my eyes together with rubber cement than watch this game. Battle of the retards as far as I'm concerned. NEXTTT!
Packers/Lions - It would be really easy for me to tear apart the Lions right now, but I won't. I actually think the Lions are a relatively good football team. They have playmakers all over the field and in a year or two, their defense can be reaalllyyy nasty looking (in a good way). Overall, a very very sloppy game. I applaud the Packers for letting the Lions think they had a shot though. That was pretty funny.
Falcons/49ers - I'm still laughing out loud at the people who thought the 49ers were good Super Bowl picks this year. Frank Gore is still a monster, Vernon Davis is one of the best tight ends in the league, and their defense is (should) be maddddd good. BUT HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU STILL EXPECT ALEX SMITH TO WIN GAMES. Give it the fuck up. Get a new quarterback for fucks sake. I'm a bit surprised they still haven't won a game, but you can't expect dude to take you to the Super Bowl. That's just ridiculous. Flacons shoulda blown the Niners out of the water, but it somehow came down to a 42 yard field goal with 2 seconds left.
Panthers/Saints - Panthers are garbage. Saints are... I'm not sure. The Saints haven't won or lost by double digits yet this year. Last year at this time, they were straight shittingonniggas.com. Their team is obviously dirty. In fact, before the season, I thought they had the potential to be better than last year. I was wrong. They need to get their shit together. This shoulda never been a game.
Rams/Seahawks - Not a great game, but I like both of these teams this year. The Rams WILL be good again. Put your money on it. Sam Bradford is the truth and Steve Jackson is better than most running backs in the league, even when he's not 100%. I thought the Seahawks were a bit better than they showed. Even though Matt Hasselbeck is old as fuck, he still got the arm and can carry a team. With Pete Carroll running the show (and acquiring Marshawn Lynch), I think the Seahawks have a chance.
Colts/Jags - What. The. Fuck. I'm putting the Colts into the Saints category. I thought they coulda been better than last year. Yet, the shittiest team in the league (next the to the Bills) beat them on with a miracle field goal as time expired. Fluke? Possibly. But a good team doesn't let that shit happen. Step it up.
Texans/Raiders - Texans look like a different team every single week. Sometimes they look like the best team in the league, sometimes they look like a wet sack of shit. Matt Schaub needs Andre Johnson (The U) back. One thing is for sure.. Arian Foster is the truth. He was benched the first half, but came back to run for 131 on 16 carries. Now, the Raiders... don't look as bad as they have in the past years, but don't look great by any means. In my opinion, McFadden needs the rock more. He needs to be rushing the ball 15-20 times a game. Period.
Redskins/Eagles - I don't think the Redskins look too terrible. With McNabb running the show, they look like a decent team for the first time in a while. Portis is injured and out for next week, but he hasn't been doing too mch so that shouldn't kill them. The birds didn't look terrible with Vick in, but as soon as he got crushed and they brought Kolb in, they looked like the shitty team we all knew they were. We all know Kolb is a scrub and he's not a playmaker. I don't get the hype. Get Vick in asap before this team falls apart (hopefully).
Cardinals/Chargers - shitonniggas.com
Bears/Giants - The Bears looked good for a while, didn't they? Until they came to the Meadowlands and The G-Men ruined them. I've always been a Cutler fan, but I enjoyed nothing more than to see the Giants defense looking like the '07 team. For the first time in a while, the D looked like they're supposed to. Big Blue's secondary has looked shaky of late, but Cutler didn't even have time to look down field, laying down 10 times (9 times in the first half).
Patriots/Dolphins - I was somewhat looking forward to this game. The Pats seemed to be on some sort of a "downfall" for a little while, and the Dolphins looked like a half decent team. The game was a defensive stuggle for the first half, with the Fins ahead 7-6. Tom Brady must have gotten a nice blowy from Gisele in the locker room because the Pats came out as a different team after halftime (even though Brady only had one TD pass and Randy Moss didn't have a catch). I started feeling bad for the Fins after a while.
Click here to complain to me about how I made your favorite team look pathetic.
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